Redemption

When Tom pulled into Bernie’s driveway, he knew he would have to wait. Bernie was never ready. Tom tapped the horn twice, and waited. After a few minutes, the double garage door opened. Bernie walked between the two shiny black SUVs struggling to carry his golf bag and his small suitcase. It was overcast and looked like rain. Not a great day for golf.

“The goddamn weather never cooperates. Every year we start off with a lousy day,” said Bernie.

He was already complaining.

Tom jumped out of his white SUV and popped the hatch back.

“Good morning to you, Mr. Sunshine. The weather is suppose to clear by the time we get to the course.”

Tom and Bernie had been retired for a few years. Tom was a college professor who taught American History. Bernie owned a car dealership which he sold because he couldn’t take the aggravation anymore. They met 50 years ago in Vietnam. It turned out they grew up in two suburban Philadelphia towns. Tom was an athlete. He was tall and stayed in shape as he got older. His black hair was almost all gray. He played baseball at a small liberal arts college. He got his Masters and PhD at Penn, and spent his career teaching at his alma mater.

Bernie went to Penn State and majored in Business Management. He was short and stocky. He wrestled in high school and could still handle himself. Bernie could sell anything. He managed a couple of car dealerships and then bought his own. It took a few years, but he expanded and it grew into one of the most successful dealerships in the northeast. Tom knew Bernie could be a little overbearing at times. They were a bit of an odd couple. Tom was laid back and cerebral, the stereotypical college professor. But, he could get along with just about anyone. Bernie was more aggressive with his opinions, and formed instant impressions of people. The world of car salesmen was cutthroat and competitive. They weren’t discussing the historical significance of the Lincoln-Douglas debates. Despite their differences, they formed a bond in war that can last a lifetime. It was a unique friendship for both of them.

The plan was to stop about hour into the trip for breakfast at the Early Bird Diner. It was just off the exit on the turnpike where they had to get off to head north to Pleasant Valley. It was a classic breakfast and lunch place with parking facing the front windows and around the back. It had been there for years. They had plenty of regulars and waitresses who called you, “Hon”. Tom pulled into a spot facing the front windows. They piled out of the SUV. The front door had a belt with bells hanging from the handle that announced every new customer.

Tom and Bernie walked up to the hostess station, and Tom said, “Two please.”

The young woman grabbed a couple of the giant menus and said, “Right this way.”

They were seated at a booth along the front looking out at the vehicles nosed up to the window. A waitress in her 60s with red hair, black pants and white shirt came right up to the table, and said, “Good Morning, how are you guys doing today? Can I start you of with coffee?”

They answered yes, and she was off to grab a pot. They stared at the menus that had every combination of eggs, pancakes, French toast, hash browns, and all the breakfast meats available in America. The waitress returned with the steaming pot of coffee, and poured into two mugs.

“You all ready to order? What can I get for you boys?”, said the waitress with her ballpoint pen ready to scribble.

Bernie started, “I’ll have two eggs, over easy, rye toast, home fries, and bacon well done.

“Oatmeal, with some raisins and cinnamon,” Tom said.

“Oatmeal?”, snorted Bernie. “Are you on one of those heart healthy diets?”

“No, I just want to take a break from clogging my arteries with cheese and pig fat,” said Tom.

Outside the front window, a man was just pulling his brand new black Ford F-150 pick up truck into the parking lot. As he was driving behind the parked cars in front of the diner window, a woman backed out of her spot and right into the right front corner of the truck. The guy driving the truck slammed on the brakes, and jumped out. He ran around the side of his truck and saw the damage. His face turned red.

He started yelling, “What hell is the matter with you? Where the hell did you learn to drive? This is a goddamn new truck!”

The woman put down her window and said, “ Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you. It’s all my fault!”

“No shit it’s all your fault”, said the truck driver.

“Now I’m going to be late for work because I have to deal with you,” the guy was screaming into the driver’s window. He then started kicking the driver’s door.

The woman screamed, “Stop it. What’s the matter with you? I’m going to call the police.”

Tom and Bernie and the other customers heard the yelling. Tom slid out of the booth.

Bernie said, “Tom, this guy is a real jerk. Maybe we should just call the cops.”

“Go ahead, but I’m going to see if I can calm him down, and help that woman,” said Tom as he headed for the door.

As Tom came outside, the guy was still kicking the woman’s car and calling her a bitch. The woman was screaming for him to get away.

Tom approached and said, “Hey, hey what are you doing? Hold on. It was an accident. Stop kicking her car. Nobody got hurt. Maybe you should calm down.”

“Maybe you should mind your own goddamn business,” shouted the truck driver.

“You’re just making things a lot worse” said Tom.

The woman shouted, “Please make him stop! He’s crazy.”

The guy suddenly backed away and opened the passenger door of his truck and reached in. He pulled out a hand gun.

“Maybe this will help you mind your own business,” he warned Tom.

Bernie was watching from the booth.

“Oh shit,” he said out loud.

Suddenly, Bernie had that scene that had been with him for 50 years flash through his brain. It was hot and wet in the jungle. It was a patrol that every soldier hated. A dozen men trying to flush out some Vietcong they knew were around a village they just secured. Tom was about ten feet behind Bernie when they heard a rustling. Everyone stopped. After a minute, there was no more sound. Suddenly, a guy popped out of the undergrowth and pointed his weapon. Bernie froze and took a step back. He turned and looked back at Tom. Tom took a step forward and fired. The barrage of bullets hit the Vietcong in the upper chest and neck. Blood spurted out as he fired off a wild shot. He was dead when he hit the ground. Tom ran up to Bernie who was down on one knee shaking.

“Are you hit? Tom asked.

Bernie just stared at him and shook his head. Tom pulled him to his feet as other members of the patrol came running over. It all happened so quickly. Bernie knew in those few seconds his life was saved and changed forever.  Tom tried to act as if he just reacted, and there was no hesitation on Bernie’s part. But, both of them knew what really happened. They were both shaking and sweating. Tom walked over and looked at the Vietcong laying on his back. Blood was oozing out of the gaping wounds in his chest and neck. His eyes were wide open looking at the sky. Tom thought he looked like a high school kid. He hated the kid for making him feel like a cold blooded killer. It felt like he was trapped in a never ending hell. Bernie felt helpless and ashamed. He had failed the ultimate test. He was afraid and there was no worse feeling.

It wasn’t until later that night, when Bernie struggled to say something. He knew Tom would never bring it up.

“I know I owe you. I don’t know what happened to me back there. That VC could have wiped us all out,” said Bernie.

“We are all in this hell together. We’re going home soon. We can leave all this shit behind us, and move on with our lives,” said Tom as he looked down.

“I won’t forget it,” said Bernie trying to get Tom to look up.

Tom just nodded. He knew they both would never forget it. But could they ever get over it?

Their friendship grew over the decades since the war. They each married. Had kids. Moved on with their careers. They both had the memories and the dreams that wouldn’t go away about their time at war. Bernie almost seemed to take on more of a tough guy personality to compensate for that moment in the jungle. Tom was more deliberate and thoughtful, and could often be perceived as lost in thought.

As Bernie came out the front door, the guy raised the gun and said, “So you want a piece of this too asshole?”

“Look, we know you’re upset, but why don’t you put the gun down, and you can exchange information with this woman, and I’m sure insurance will take care of everything,” said Tom as he took a step toward the guy with the gun with his hands raised.

The last time he was face to face with a man with a gun, everything happened so quickly. The Vietcong’s weapon looked too big for him. He looked so young. Tom reacted out of fear. He could remember the noise and the blood. He had shot other men in Vietnam, but none when he could look into the man’s eyes as he killed him. Bernie was now beside Tom about ten feet in front of the guy with the gun. The woman had stayed in her car and was dialing 911.

Tom took another small step forward and said, “Please just put the gun down. We can work this out.”

Bernie could see the Vietcong raising his weapon at him in the jungle. It was the scene that had played out over and over in his head for decades. He felt that moment of hesitation that tormented him. I can’t let this happen again. He saw the gun starting to waver in the guy’s hand. Out of the corner of his eye, Tom could see Bernie flashing past him. Bernie took two running steps and lunged forward.

“No!”, shouted Tom as he tried to grabbed Bernie’s shoulder. Bernie stuck out his right arm and came down hard on the guy’s forearm forcing the gun to move down toward the ground. At the same time, he was lowering his shoulder into the guy’s left side forcing him backwards. As they were falling, the gun went off. It’s strange how gunfire sounds so different in person then it does on TV or in the movies. It sounds more like a pop than a cracking sound. Bernie could feel the sharp pain and burn in his left thigh as he and the guy went crashing to the pavement. The gun was jolted out of the guy’s hand and went skidding under the woman’s car. Tom took another step forward and bent down to pull Bernie off the guy. Tom pulled Bernie back into a sitting position and could see the blood oozing out of the hole in his thigh.

“Hold on man, you’re going to be alright,” said Tom as he took off his golf pullover to wrap it around Bernie’s leg.

“Keep pressure on it,” he said.

Tom turned and grabbed the gunman before he could get up. He managed to flip him over onto his stomach and get his knee down on the middle of the guy’s back. Just then, three police cars came screaming into the parking lot. The officers jumped out of their cruisers with their hands on their holsters.

Tom yelled, “He’s down. I’ve got him. The gun is under the car. Don’t shoot.”

One cop helped Tom get off the gunman while the other cop started pulling his hands  behind his back and cuffing him.

“Don’t move, sir,” warned one cop in a firm but controlled tone.

The third cop was on the radio calling for a supervisor and an ambulance. You could hear the gunman whimpering. The woman jumped out of her car and came over to Tom and Bernie.

“Are you alright? My God, you’re shot. This is crazy. I can’t believe this is happening. You guys could have been killed, and it was all my fault,” said the woman.

“No, it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. You just hit a guy with a lot of problems,” said Tom.

Just then the ambulance and the police supervisor’s car were pulling up. The paramedics quickly assessed Bernie’s wound, and got him on a gurney and into the ambulance in a matter of minutes. Tom asked where the hospital was, and said he would get there as soon as he finished with the police. The cops got the gunman up and put him in the back of one of their cars. His head was down and he was crying. He no longer looked like the menacing guy with the gun. He looked helpless and pathetic. By now there was a crowd of people from the diner out in the parking lot watching, and passing cars were slowing down. Two of the cops took Tom aside and started asking him what happened. The third cop was questioning the woman. Crime scene techs arrived, and started taping off the scene, taking measurements and retrieving the gun from under the car. Tom gave his account to the police. The police asked Tom if he thought the gunman would actually shoot.

Tom said, “I wasn’t sure, but I think he was just as scared as I was. He tried to act tough, but I think it ramped up so quickly, he wasn’t sure what to do.”

The cop asked if Bernie said anything before he lunged at the gunman.

Tom paused for a second, looked down, and said, “No.”

But, Tom knew what Bernie was thinking. When he was finished with the cops, Tom called his wife and Bernie’s wife who started crying on the phone. Fortunately, her sister happened to be at her house, and she was going to drive Bernie’s wife to the hospital. The woman’s husband had arrived and they walked over to Tom.

She was tearing up, “You saved my life. I don’t know what would have happened if you and your friend didn’t come out. He got so angry. I can’t thank you enough. Not many people would have put themselves out there like you did.

“You guys could have been killed. How is your friend?”, asked the husband.

“I think he’ll be okay. How are you doing?”asked Tom.

“I’m still shaking, but I’m so grateful. Is there anything we can do for you?” the woman asked.

“No, I’m good. I’m going to the hospital to see my friend,” Tom answered.

“Well, I guess we’ll probably see you again when this whole thing goes to court. I can’t thank you guys enough,” said the husband.“

“Yes, and thank you again,” said his wife.

Tom pulled out of the diner lot as the police were getting ready to tow the gunman’s truck away. Tom felt guilty knowing Bernie thought he owed Tom something. Tom went out into that parking lot because he saw someone in trouble. When the guy pulled the gun, he remembered how he felt when he faced that kid with a gun back in the jungle. There was no time for talk or reason in war. But, he knew that guy would regret using the gun. When Bernie ran past him and lunged at the gunman, Tom knew Bernie wanted to erase what happened in the jungle. No one else would understand. Because no one else knew. But it couldn’t be erased.

When Tom got to the hospital, Bernie was in surgery. He waited for the surgeon to come out. As he sat on the plastic chair in the waiting room, Tom thought about the two incidents, decades apart, under completely different circumstances, that changed and shaped their lives. While he and Bernie never talked about what happened in the jungle, Tom had dreamt about it thousands of times. They had both come so close to dying. There were all the “what ifs?” Today, in that parking lot, it was a slow motion event. He thought, this can’t be happening again. Another crazed guy with a gun. Why did I go out there? Why didn’t I just call the police right away? I didn’t want to be in this position again.

The doctor came out and shook him out of his thoughts.

“He’s in recovery. He was fortunate. It was a small caliber bullet, and it didn’t hit the artery. You can see him in a little bit, once he wakes up,” the doctor said.

Tom went and got a cup of coffee. He called Bernie’s wife to say he was going to be okay. She said she and her sister were stuck in traffic behind an accident, but should be there soon.

After a short while, a nurse came out to the waiting room and said, “You can go in to see him, but just for a few minutes.”

When Tom walked in, Bernie’s eyes were closed, and he was hooked up to an IV.

Tom said, “How’re doing? Bernie opened his eyes, and said, “I guess I ruined the golf weekend.”

Tom smiled.

Tom looked down at Bernie and said, “You didn’t have to do that. We could have talked that guy down. You have a wife and kids and grandkids.”

Bernie said, “I would never have had my wife and kids, if it wasn’t for you. I didn’t want to let you down after what you did for me. We just never talked about what happened back then. It was like a shadow that wouldn’t go away. I dreamt about it a thousand goddamn times. I hated myself for being such a chicken shit.”

“Stop, you don’t owe me anything. I was just as scared as you were that day. I still see that kid’s dead eyes looking up at me in the middle of the night. I’m no hero. I was trying to save myself. I didn’t want to kill anyone. The guilt is still haunting us after all these years. We were thrown into the worst possible situation. We didn’t have any control, and the people who sent us there didn’t seem to really give a shit about what happened to us. We have to forgive ourselves,” said Tom.

“That’s the trouble,” said Bernie. “I can’t. I try to push down the memories. It works for awhile, but it always comes back. It just eats at me.”

Tom said, “It has stolen enough from us. We did the best we could. We made it out of the jungle and that parking lot alive. We have to move on with our lives.”

“I’ve been trying. But it just won’t go away”, said Bernie

“I know, I know” said Tom.

He could hear the pain in Bernie’s voice. Just then the nurse came in and said it was time for Tom to leave because Bernie would want to spend time with his wife.

Tom said, “Okay.” He turned to Bernie and said, “I’ll call you later.”

Bernie said, “Great, and let’s talk some more.”

Tom then reached down and gave Bernie a man hug. He turned and walked out of the room as a tear ran down his cheek not knowing if he could ever stop talking about it now.

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