You have to grab their attention. It was the first rule of what we called “tease” writing in the television news. You give the viewer a taste of the story, but you tease them with an element that peaks their interest and makes them keep watching. The same applies to the first line of any written piece whether it be a novel, a short story, or even a newspaper or magazine story. Attention spans are shorter than ever. Competition for eyeballs is intense. Always lead with your best shot. A writer wants to draw the reader in and that first line has to set the hook and make the reader want to know more. It can be action. It can be obscure or even puzzling. But it has to get them in the door.
The great writers have given us a library of examples. Keep it simple and short. “Call me Ishmael” from Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick”. Three words. Guy with an odd name. That’s the first thing he says to the reader. He gets personal right away. It’s like meeting someone new. You know the story is about man and a whale. I guess this is the guy and he wants me to come along.
“It’s a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” What’s this guy talking about? He contrasts something we all have experienced with something that makes us say, “Wait, what”? The reader knows George Orwell’s “1984” is going to take us to a strange new world and we’re not sure what we’ll find but Orwell hopes we can’t resist even if we are a little apprehensive.
”It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” Jane Austen in “Pride and Prejudice” is setting out a premise that she comes right out tells the reader is a fact. But is she being serious? Or is she being ironic and setting up a story about romance that is a satire and making fun of British society in 1813?
“We slept in what had been the gymnasium.” Margret Atwood subtlety scares us in “A Handmaid’s Tale” in the opening of one of the darkest explorations of society gone terribly wrong. She brings together two ordinary elements that we’ve all experienced, sleep and a gym but not together. Something is wrong here and the narrator says “We” which tells us a group of people is being held in an unusual circumstance. We’re scared but we want to know more.
In two short story collections I’ve tried to lean on examples from the masters. The only measure of success is what readers think. I’m conducting an unscientific survey to get some feedback.
Foul Ball
”It was a 96 mile an hour fastball Tyson Chambers had seen many times.” The question it tries to raise is why is this time different.
Brother in Black
“It was like watching a collision unfold in slow motion.” Establish immediate action that is not going to have a good result.
Martin Collins
“Martin Collins didn’t expect to die.” Trying to get personal with a man facing something many of us fear.
Sons of the Father
”Inspector Dominic Valducci has spent most of his career dealing with people on the worst days of their lives”. Introducing a man who tries to help others who will be in for another day of drama.
Deception
”Adam could not look at the flashing cursor anymore”. A frustration many of us have felt, but what has him stuck?
Lonely Monday
“It had been a long fourteen years since that phone call in the middle of the night.” No one wants to get a phone call in the middle of the night. This one has had a long after effect.
If you’re interested, I’m interested in what you think and what would keep you reading.
I’m interested in your next short story collection…and perhaps a novel. I can guarantee you at least 10 sales. Your opening could be something like, “Regardless of how battered they were from the previous week it was another Wednesday and therefore time for another go at it. An observer would suggest, “Why would they think this week’s outcome would be any different?”