Memory

You’re suppose to get an annual physical, especially as you get older. I hadn’t had one in two years. I had a family history question that I thought I could get answered on the phone. I called the doctor’s office, and asked if I could speak with him. The receptionist said sure. He’ll have to call you back at the end of the day. I thought it would take at least another call the next day to get him. I was a little surprised when he did call back at the end of the day. I asked him my question, assuming he would tell me to go to a specialist, but he sprung the trap. He said I hadn’t had a physical in two years, and I should come in for the physical and discuss the family history question. How could I say no?

We all know how doctor visits go. The receptionist wants your insurance cards and driver’s license just in case someone who really wants a physical is impersonating you. Then she gives you the clipboard with basic medical questions. You sit down, and fill that out and return it to the desk. You then sit and wait in the aptly named Waiting Room. I was lucky the day I went. I only waited a few minutes. I was then led into the examination room, or “the second waiting room”. The nurse tells me to get on the scale. She writes down my weight even though I have all my clothes and shoes on. It was seven pounds over my bathroom scale, underwear weight. Then it’s the blood pressure. Then it’s a few questions that you already answered on that clip board in the waiting room. She then said the doctor will be in shortly. “Shortly” being a purposely vague time period. She didn’t say anything about taking my clothes off, and putting on the paper gown with the opening in the back. When I asked if I should, she said no that’s not necessary. Really, not necessary. Was this just a drive through physical?

”Shortly” turned into twenty minutes. That’s not bad. At least I didn’t have to wait in my underwear. When the doctor finally came in, he wanted to start with my head. He called it a short term memory test. It’s trying to determine if I just have short term memory loss, which he said everyone suffers as they get older, or do I have the early signs of dementia. First, he asked me to repeat three words and remember them because he’s going to ask me again. I knew I was in trouble. I have trouble remembering people’s names when I first meet them. They go right out of my head. If I meet people on the golf course, immediately after we introduce ourselves, I can’t remember their name. So while we’re playing, I can only say, “Hey, great putt!” I can’t say “Hey, great putt, Bob!” I have no idea what the guy’s name is.

The doctor writes two short sentences on a piece of paper. He hands me the paper, and asks me to read the sentences and do what they say. They said, “Draw a clock. Show that it’s 5 o’clock. I knocked that one out of the park. Then he asks me to write a sentence. I looked out the window and wrote “It’s winter.” He laughed and said most people write something about the test. I was hoping that wouldn’t work against me. He then drew a stick figure on a piece of paper, and asked me to draw it. I was perfect. Next he gave me a sheet of paper. He told me fold it in half and put it on the floor. I complied. He then said pick it up and give it back to him. Oh, at some point, I can’t remember when, he asked me to repeat those three words. I thought he would forget about them. I could only remember two. Next, he asked me to get up from the chair, walk across the small exam room to the counter, walk back and sit down. Easy. It took six seconds. If it takes more than thirty seconds, you’re in trouble.

We moved on to the lightning round.

Who’s the President? (Do I really have to answer that?) Trump

What day is it? Tuesday

What state are we in? Pennsylvania

There were a couple more, but I forget.

He then told me I scored 29 out of 30. I missed that damn third word. He said 25 or lower could mean the early signs of dementia. He said here’s the difference between short term memory loss and dementia. Short term memory loss is, “I can’t find my car keys.” Dementia, you look at the keys and say, “What are these?”

We finally moved on to the physical part of the physical. He did lift up my shirt to listen to my heart. We did the whole, take a deep breath while he listened to my breathing. It was very quick. I thought I was home free. I thought he would forget. He didn’t. I found out my prostate is just fine. But, I still can’t remember that third word.