“From the time he was three, we knew he wanted to be in the military.” Barton Humlhanz’s mother, Michele said. “He tried to join the military in high school. Bart wanted to be a military police officer. When he graduated, there was no openings in the army for a military police officer. The army said join the reserves and we’ll get you in later. That didn’t pan out and Bart got out of his contract. After graduating from Saucon Valley High School in January, 2001, Bart got a job at a convenience store pumping gas.
I asked what kind of a kid Bart was. “He was a good kid growing up. He went through a difficult time when I went through a divorce. I would say between twelve and fifteen was a rough patch.” Bart played baseball, joined the Cub Scouts and Boys Scouts. He developed an interest in music. Michele was interested in music and gave Bart one of her guiters.
Then came 9/11. Michele remembers, “He was devastated, as we all were. He called me at work and said, you know what I did today? And I said I have no idea.” He says, “I saw a recruiter, and I joined the Marines.”
Bart was deployed to Iraq twice. The first time he left was December, 2002. “He almost didn’t get home for Christmas. That almost got canceled because his car broke down.” Bart did managed to get home, but had to leave on Christmas Day for Iraq.
“The first deployment was stressful. I think my husband Don and his sister Nicole, actually handled it a little better the first time than I did.” Communication was difficult they could only write letters. “We called it snail mail three weeks to get something back and forth.” When Michele did hear from Bart, he was optimistic and excited about what he was doing but couldn’t talk about it. Michele knew a little. They were securing areas and setting up the bases. Every time they finished setting up a base and got running water they had to move on. Three months would go by without a shower.
I asked if she felt Bart was ever afraid. “The first deployment no. That did happen on the second deployment. It wasn’t because he was afraid he had been through it before. It was more because he actually had a really bad feeling about the second one.” The night before Bart left the second time on July 4, 2004 he talked about it. “He didn’t think he was going to make it back and he told my husband and me that if we got a phone call, not to worry, he’ll be fine. He just got injured, but if they show up at the door, he wanted us to know what we were expecting.”
About six weeks later, August 26, 2004 in Babil Province Iraq it happened. Michele told me, “We know that at first, the information we got was not 100 percent accurate. They told us it was rocket propelled grenade that hit Bart’s vehicle. We later found out it was an IED (Improvised Explosive Device).” Several of the mothers and a sister I’ve spoken with told me they were the hidden danger that their loved ones faced.
Michele did get some details of what happened to Bart. He did make it to the hospital. “He actually lived two hours and twenty-two minutes. He was the only one killed. There were five Marines with severe injuries.”
Michele was away on a business trip when Bart was killed and on her way home. Her husband was home when Marines came to the door. “They would not tell him because he wasn’t on Bart’s paperwork. He had to, bless his heart, he spent most of the day trying to get in touch with me to see how things were going and when was I going to get home. But I don’t know how he did it because he kept in touch with me without letting on that something was wrong.”
The Marines left and came back twice while they waited for Michele to get home. “Well, when I got home they were in the other room. He (Michele’s husband) came to the door right away I knew something was wrong. I said what happened to my Dad? He’s like nothing happened to your Dad. Then I turned the corner and saw the Marines and the Chaplin. I remember sitting down at the dining room table where we talked about everything.”
Bart had a brother Ben who was about twenty when Bart died and a sister Nicole who turned eighteen four days before Bart was killed. She was close to Bart and he had surprised her with a special gift. She was out with a friend when the Marines came to the house. The Chaplin asked if Michele and her husband wanted them to wait until Nicole got home to tell her. “We were both like no, we got to do this ourselves. That was the hardest thing. If I could have done that different, I would let them break it to her. I think that some of her reaction was (being) upset with us because we were the ones that told her. It took a long time for her. For me not to worry about her.”
Michele was first told Bart’s body would be returned to Dover Air Force Base. As they prepared to go to Dover, they got a call saying the body was already on the way to the funeral home.
Bart had a fiancee Lauren who was also in the military in Iraq. She was allowed to come home and had to stay with Michele and family. “During the whole process it was a lot more stress than I wanted. She demanded a lot of attention.” Michele felt deceived and disappointed in Lauren. She found out later from friends of Bart’s that he and Lauren had broken up before he was killed and Lauren never told her.
Bart was cremated and buried in Doylestown. Michele moved to Florida over twenty years ago. After about seven years, Michele got involved with Gold Star Moms and became chapter president of the largest chapter in Florida. “I really felt like that’s where my healing really started when I could talk to people that really understood. I think my calmness and strength come from time and experience and helping others. We realized that Moms had an organization but Dads and siblings were really left out. My husband Don actually started a 501 C3 called Gold Star Fathers of Florida.”
Michele has taken her own pain and turned to help other mothers who have suffered a loss we can’t imagine.
Gut wrenching. We who have never had to go to war or face losing a family member will never fully understand the pain some families endure. Beautifully written.