Remembering

I don’t remember exactly when it started. Was it age related? Or was it something worse? I started blanking on people’s names. People I knew very well, friends and people I had worked with for many years. Even famous people like movie stars and ball players. I’d have to stop and concentrate to bring up the names in my brain. Most the time I would eventually remember, but sometimes I’d have go on line to remember some actor I was watching and their name would escape me. If I didn’t have an iPhone, I wouldn’t know anyone. Then I would have to think to remember if I did something like make a reservation. I was starting to drive my wife Maureen a little crazy. We would have a conversation about something and I would ask her questions about it days later to which she would politely reply that we had already talk about it. Politely became annoyed which I understand could drive people crazy.

Maureen suggested I see my doctor and ask questions about what was going on. I told him my symptoms. He asked me if it was affecting my lifestyle. I said no. I sat there hoping he was not going to say we need to test you for dementia. My doctor is a very smart guy he has MD and PhD after his name. He listens carefully. He’s very caring and calls me “my friend”. I really trust the guy. He eventually pulled his stool a little closer to me. For a second, I thought bad news was coming. But he said I have “Benign Memory Disfunction”. When I heard the word “benign” I knew that was a good sign. He was basically saying, “stuff happens” when we get older. He said he could run blood tests and do an MIR but really didn’t think it was necessary. He recommended an over the counter supplement that contains zinc, vitamin  D and other ingredients that improve brain health. As I was leaving, I said I would be back later in the year for my annual physical. He said great and we’ll forget all about this. Fortunately, the doctor wrote done “Benign Memory Disfunction” because when I got home to tell Maureen I couldn’t remember the word “Disfunction”.

Memories are the history of our lives. As we get older, we look back on our lives and try to remember the good times and the bad. When they fade into the mist of time, it’s a piece of our life that goes missing. We care about other people’s memories of our lives. What did they think about us? I always feel proud when I hear from a former colleague who tells me they appreciated what I had done for them. Childhood memories can be the most precious and life affirming. I didn’t know my grandfathers. We have four granddaughters. It’s among the most joyous moments of my life to spend time with them and make them laugh and share their lives growing up. I want them to remember me. Life is fleeting. Whether it’s someone’s name, or a time long ago, remembering is part of life we never want to forget.